Online booty calls saved my marriage ?
For those of you who have read my blog before, you know that my husband and I have an arrangement that suits our marriage quite well and we’re active in the local swinger scene here in Austin, Texas and the surrounding area.
While the local swingers have sex parties and the like those tend to be weekend excursions we have an almost insatiable appetite for sexual partners. My husband likes to joke that before he met me he was a serial monogamist who only had intra-relationship monogamous sex with selected partners who only had sex with him. He was a good boy who always loved his girlfriend best and didn’t so much as let his eyes wander or look and internet porn. I tell him that I know he’s a liar and he was always a bad boy who simply needed someone like me to take the lid off his desires and unleash them onto the world. He insists that I ruined him; that I turned him into a lustful, insatiable man. I tell him he loves it. He smiles and laughs.
There’s probably more truth in that joke than fiction. He was a serial monogamist before me. But in many ways he still is too. As far his love and his heart goes, those belong to me. Even though we both hook up with other people, we still live under the same roof together and would never think about sharing our lives in that way with anybody else. It’s all I could have wanted from a marriage.
As a younger woman I never understood why women and men paired off and shared themselves so intimately but only exclusively. In high school I had gotten the reputation for being “easy” just because I enjoyed hooking up and having sex with the other boys in my class. It stifled my sexuality a lot. The boys didn’t respect me and made fun of me behind my back, calling me a slut and a whore, and expecting me to have sex with them whenever they wanted and regardless of what I wanted. High school was a really bad experience for me as young woman trying to cope with my sexuality.
College was different, better, but the humiliation of what I experienced in high school stayed with me. I learned to believe the things the other boys and girls said behind my back. My parents even echoed the same angry conversations to my face. I was a bad girl, a slut. I was going to get raped. It would be my fault if I did. It was cruel and wrong, but now I the one echoing that cruelty to myself, which made it worse.
When I had my first serious relationship, I knew that I wasn’t allowed to have sex with other men. That is made me a bad girlfriend and a bad person if I did. But the feelings of wanting to sleep with other men did not go away. When boyfriend cheated on me, I felt betrayed in so many ways. But though I didn’t realize it at the time, it was the best thing that would happen to me and for our relationship.
I had become resentful of him having my sexuality stifled and controlled by some. It didn’t matter that I loved him, I still resented him and I resented our love. When I grew distant, both sexually and emotionally, he figured our relationship was ending. He found comfort in the arms of another girl. But how could I blame him for that?
In time I articulated my feelings about him, how much I loved him, how much I wanted our relationship to work, and I also told him about my sexual proclivities. To my surprise he was not angry or upset about that. I offered to let him try a threesome with me and another girl. I felt like that was a good way to soften the blow. He loved that idea. It was his first threesome and something he had always wanted to try. It was mine too.
In time our relationship grew stronger and we were married. My parents were of course thrilled that their slut of a daughter had finally become a respectable woman. They adore my husband for “taming” their wild girl who had given them so many sleepless nights. Of course they know nothing about our extra-marital activities, or how I turned their son-in-law into a rabid sex fiend.
So you’re probably asking yourself, how did we manage it? We both use a casual dating service called SexSearch.com. In terms of hooking up online, we both really thought the hookup site was worth paying for. The online message boards let us interact with people and organize parties for the weekends. SexSearch.com is a great site for casual dating. The user base is really solid and we’ve both made so many friends from interacting with the people on the site. If he needs an online booty call or wants to arrange a threesome with me and another girl, it’s easy to find locals who are willing to hook up with us. I guess it helps that we’re a couple too, though he finds plenty of booty on SexSearch. So if you’re a couple, or a guy, or a girl, who is looking for a little no strings attached sex, online casual sex sites can be a great outlet for you to find like minded folks in your area.